The Idea that Won't Go Away

Have you ever had an idea for something, something so big, so impossible, that you want to be able to just walk away from it? I have had just such an idea for about two years now. And every time it comes up, I think, "Well that's silly. How in the world would you make that happen?" And I move on. At least for a while.

What seems to happen, is that the idea keeps resurfacing. And each time it takes on a little more substance. In the last few days, it has gotten bones. A structure. It doesn't look quite so impossible. Or so outlandish.

Now this is one of those "BIG" ideas. What some people call a BHAG. A Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal. It means stepping into completely unfamiliar territory to make it happen. It means it has been hard for me to wrap my head around how I could possibly make it happen.

But then, at the same time, I know that others have done things that are comparable. Knowing this doesn't mean it is easy, or that it will ultimately be doable by me. But it does mean that it is possible. And if it is possible, and it keeps coming back to me, perhaps I need to take it seriously.....and in the process, take myself seriously too.

Isn't that what we are doing when we have an Impossible Dream. We may want to believe it is impossible. It means it just can't be done. Because then we can comfortably walk away. But each time this dream comes up for me, I know, somewhere in the back of my mind, that others have done comparable things. It is possible, and it is not going away. But, I have just not been ready. And that is where the truth lies. Having these dreams means stretching outside what is familiar and known. Holding on to them means we want to see if we can make them happen someday. We recognize our current limitations, but we are not silly to dream these dreams. Even if we dare not admit the details of our dreams to anyone!

As this idea is taking a more concrete form in my head over the last few days, I am seeing various pieces of things that have been out there floating around as vague ideas, starting to coalesce. It still feels pretty impossible. But I also feel like I want to start to push the idea from an idea into becoming something more tangible.

I am researching things like installations, venues, fundraising, grants. The actual art work is completely within my capabilities, although it will be time consuming, and I may need to enlist some help because of the simple scale of this idea. How to take this idea, this thought, and make it into a reality is the challenge. It may never happen. But I am going to begin to take some steps to try to make it work.

My first step is to write this here. To admit to myself and the world, that I am ready and willing to begin to explore this new territory. The details of the dream are less important than this shift that has happened in me. That is where our greatest barriers often lie. Inside. I will admit to being scared, and overwhelmed. But, I have to say there is also a certain amount of glee and sheer excitement about simply saying "yes". Yes, this is worth exploring. This is worth investing some time and energy to see where you can take it. Wish me luck! And if you know of any grant money around.....