Monday, November 20, 2006


In general, I am working non-stop. In my studio creating. On the computer writing, reading, researching, number crunching. I wake up with ideas in my head that I want to explore and create. There is a fertility to my creativity right now that blows me away.
But now and then, the slump settles in. Often, as now, it is when I am feeling under the weather. Or after a lousy show. I begin to question what has been a relentless motion forward. Am I heading in the right direction? Or am I just moving without enough consideration for where I am going?
At these times, I look at my work with nothing but critical eyes. It is hard for me to see where I thought I was going with a piece, because it now just feels wrong. One minute I am in love with the work, and the direction it is taking. The next it is all wrong. In need of a complete overhaul.
What I have learned is that there is some truth and some exaggeration in all this. Sometimes these periods of slowing down and questioning, being critical, can be the most helpful in moving my work forward in the more subtle but important ways. I start to pay more attention to the finer details. Asking myself if it could be better, and how I could do that. I am not riding the big wave now. I am looking into the tide pool. A careful study. Looking to find the details that have been elusive in the wild ride.
Sometimes this period feels completely unproductive. But often, I feel re-energized when I emerge with a deeper understanding. My skills grow. My attention is sharper. Pausing can sometimes make you feel like you are going backwards after flying at a rapid pace. The change in momentum can be so drastic. But in the end, it is necessary for growth.

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