Creative Retreat

Each year, for the last few years, I have tried to attend a creative retreat. A chance to get away from the normal routine and immerse myself in a creative environment. I recently returned from the Connecticut Polymer Clay Guild Clay ConneCTions 2008 retreat. It was held over the past weekend, and I had a wonderful time, learning, meeting, re-connecting, and claying. The Connecticut Guild is strong, and does a wonderful job putting together this biennial retreat. The very first retreat I attended was put on by the Connecticut Guild in 2004.

One of the best parts of a retreat is the opportunity to meet, and begin to know, people who you might otherwise not get the opportunity to spend time with. Whether it is the person who is sitting across the table from you, or someone leading a demonstration of a technique, or your neighbor at the breakfast table. There are many opportunities to connect, and get to know more people in the broader community. This retreat was no exception for me. Some acquaintances were renewed or deepened, and others began. Either way, it was one of the most valuable gifts that I take away from any retreat experience.

I had a chance to learn a few new tricks and techniques. One of which I have already played around with, and may incorporate into some new crane patterns for next year. I now am a "licensed operator" of the Polymer Clay Express extruder, and will play around in the coming months with some of the new extrusion dies I purchased at the retreat. I love the openness of Polymer Clay Express to consider adding new dies based on requests from users. This makes for a richer tool base for everyone. I am awaiting the delivery of one of their new clay rollers....NOT a pasta machine!....but one built for the strains of conditioning a stiffer material. Wider, stronger, and better designed. I was told it is expected to be delivered in December. I also purchased a motor for my pasta machine. I have begun to experience tendinitis in my elbow....perhaps from all those cranes I have been making!

Over the last few years, I have begun to witness the downside of retreats. It is not something that is in the control of the organizers, and it is behavior that is not limited to creative retreats. Get enough people together, and you are bound to have a bit of toxic energy infecting the event. Fortunately, it is generally so far under the radar that most people do not see it, nor are they affected directly by it. But, it can have long term consequences that can affect all of us.

The source of most of it, is the source of most toxic stuff that floats around in our lives. Envy, deception, misunderstandings, etc. Most of it can be cut short, and often is. But sometimes, it becomes strong enough to do damage. To hurt the vulnerable. To discourage them from attending these sorts of events in the future.

There are definite "classes" within the creative world, just as any other community. We may talk about how wonderful it is that we all get along, and share, and respect.....but, when people are at different places on various spectrum; from experience, to ambition, to knowledge, "classes" form. I remember when I was at the Synergy conference in Baltimore in February. This was one of the best conferences I had ever attended. The concentration of talent and experience in one place was amazing. But it also could easily bring out the most deep-seated sense of inadequacy in nearly anyone.

I remember walking into the large main room at one point, and noticing a table full of "names"...people of significant profile and accomplishment. My first reaction, was one that I am not proud to admit. Why are they all sitting together, isolating themselves? I reacted from a place of inadequacy. That I was not feeling "good enough" to sit at that table. Then, thank goodness, I stopped right there and realized something deeper was going on. I was looking at this table by looking at the surface accomplishments of this group. In reality, this group of people had known each other for years. They had watched each others struggles and growth, and were there for each other through personal challenges, and triumphs. This is why they were together. They were friends relishing in the opportunity to see one another, and catch up with each other.

How often do we look at someone who has accomplished something in their artistic career by their resume? How often do we attempt to get to know that person as a person? Are we hoping to get something from being in proximity to them? And if they disappoint us how do we react? Do we translate those disappointments into an assessment of them as a person? And if we do, is it valid?

I have seen people hurt by the thoughtless spreading of nothing more than gossip. What happens when you are on the receiving end of some of this "hot stuff". Gossip that has it's primary value in the name attached to it? When we pick up the ball and spread the dirt, we are complicit in the damage done. We can say we were only passing on what was told to us. We did not start it. But it is feeding the beast.

What if instead, we turned to the source and said "No, thanks." Deflate the balloon a bit. As soon as we hear it, we feel the need to do something with it. Just don't pick it up. Put it down, and walk away.

And if it is about someone you like and respect, explicitly turn it down. What happens when we just pass the dirt along to the target of the gossip, "so that they know"? Hurt. Hurt with no outlet. No way for the issue to be resolved. The best thing is to just walk away. If someone feels more important by knocking down another artist, then you have elevated them by receiving the gossip. Don't do it.

As my profile in the polymer clay world has risen, the gossip value of my name has most likely increased. I try to stay away from the places where the gossip is most prolific. I have built a virtual cocoon of protection around myself. Not that I want to live in the illusion of my perfection, but rather, I don't need to hear idle speculation or gossip about who I am, and why I am doing things. I am deeply familiar with my own inadequacies. When the gossip does filter my way, I am often surprised as much by the content as by the source. Having that chatter in my head does nothing to nurture my creative self. If anything it chips away at it.

As an artist, we have duty to protect ourselves. How can we be creative if we don't? Your real friends will help you see the full you, but in the context of a relationship built on knowledge and understanding. They will help you be a better you. Gossip never does that. So the next time it comes your way, say, "No thanks, I'm on a gossip-free diet. It doesn't agree with me." You'll feel like you just lost ten pounds!

Don't let the possible negatives keep you away from a wonderful nourishing and enriching experience. Don't expect a lot of work to be done. But do plan on laughing, playing, and making a few new friends.

More Thoughts on Phthalate Phobia

My last post about the potential ban on phthalates has generated lots of discussion, and more posts. This is a good thing. The more we share our knowledge, experience and insight, the better off we will all be in the end.


This issue goes way beyond polymer clay. PVC's, and phthalates in other materials, are woven into our lives in more ways than we can possibly be aware. My husband related a story to me about issues his company is having with a partner company and their demands that PVC be removed from the product. PVC is incorporated in some small way in nearly every, if not all, the products they produce. Finding an adequate substitute is not simple.

Phthalates are in medical equipment (tubes, fluid bags, etc.). They are in nail polish, the scented candle, and the moisturizer from a company known for being "natural". This should not make us more paranoid. If anything it should give us perspective to realize that if phthalates were as awful as some would like to portray them, then they would have caused lots of problems already.

What if we were to eliminate plastics completely from our lives. Are we going to go back to metal pipes for plumbing, and glass bottles for holding liquids? Do we have the capacity in our system to do that? What about the effects of the added weight of these other materials in transport. Not only will it cost more, but it will consume more energy to move them, adding to global warming.

Do you know that one of the benefits of eliminating glass for packaging liquids was not only weight, but safety? Glass breaks more easily that plastic, and it also cuts more easily than plastic. How do we factor people injured by glass bottles into the equation of plastic versus glass?


Nothing sounds more natural and earthy than felted wools, and other natural fibers. But what about the dyes that are used to color them? And how are the dyes disposed? Unless vegetable dyes are being used, with no chemical fixatives, you are working with toxic materials. Concentrated toxins.


Plastic resins used to make jewelry. Phthalates, along with many other toxic chemicals.


Glazes, paints, thinners, enamel powders and more. Toxins galore.


When we look at a ceramic pot, or a beautiful woven scarf, or that fun piece of resin jewelry, the last thing we are thinking about is the materials used to create them, and the potential harm that they pose for the environment.


I am not suggesting we look the other way, and pretend that there is no problem with any of these things. Rather, that we educate and inform ourselves. If you use materials that are potentially hazardous, be responsible in the way you use them, and dispose of any remaining material. If safer alternatives exist that are equally effective, explore those. But don't react to every scare story you are told. And if you hear someone spreading fear that is inappropriate, do your best to educate them. In the age of the internet, misinformation can spread just as rapidly as information.

Fear and Hysteria in the Studio

Nearly every time I do a show, I have someone come up to me and ask me if I know about how dangerous polymer clay is. What is interesting about these encounters is that there is very little fact presented, just fear, and a sense that if I do not take what they are saying seriously, I am being irresponsible. When I mention any studies that have been done to look at the potential risks of working with polymer clay, and show that there is little to no risk, they are dismissed out of hand.

I am going to put on my scientist hat today. In addition to having an MBA, I have a degree in chemistry. I never worked in a lab after graduation, nonetheless, I learned enough about the scientific process to be able to understand the difference between hype and fact. Lately there has been a campaign by several environmental groups, whom I might otherwise support, to ban certain substances, among them, phthalates.

Phthalates are found in polymer clay, in addition to many plastics. They make polymer clay pliable until it is cured. They can be used in plastics to make the end product softer or more flexible. The rationale for banning these chemicals is that they are possibly linked to cancer and endocrine disruptions. This was based upon studies done by injecting large quantities of phthalates just below the skin of a rodent, or having the rodent consume the phthalates directly. The fear was that children chewing on pacifiers, bottle nipples, or some toys might ingest enough phthalates to risk serious health problems. There is nothing that will generate more fear and panic than to suggest that something that an infant is putting in their mouth might cause cancer later in their life.

What about the reality? In order for the children to consume an equivalent amount of phthalates as the rodents were exposed to, all of the phthalates would have to leach out of the product….not probable. And, they would have to chew on the toy or other item for at least 12 hours, continuously, each day. Add to this the fact that the results achieved with mice and rats have never been observed in higher level mammals on a repeatable or reliable basis. These include guinea pigs, and rabbits. And there is no reliable evidence of these outcomes with humans.

All we have is fear, built on possible, not probable outcomes.

The European Union (EU) has banned phthalates. Now the same groups are working to extend the ban to the U.S. A big part of the rationale, …..these products are banned in Europe. If it is banned in Europe it must be bad. Right? We don’t need to look at the science. We just need to know that someone else said it might be dangerous. As Bill Durodie, of Cranfield University in the U.K., aptly explains in a paper from April 2007, titled “Why Did the European Union Ban Phthalates?”, it was more about the potential risk rather than the real risk.

“ research commissioned by the European Union’s own executive branch, the European Commission, had already concluded that the chance of a child exceeding the recommended limits through exposure to such products was ‘so rare that the statistical likelihood cannot be estimated.’

Given those results, why would the ban be implemented? This was a few short years after the BSE or Mad Cow disease scare spread through Europe. The Commission was perhaps feeling more reactive as a result. Better to eliminate a potential health crisis than to face criticism for not acting. This type of behavior, acting on fear rather than fact, is the same type of behavior that has lead to major foreign policy blunders by this country in the last several years.

We are in an environment where our politicians are more likely to be swayed by public fears than by fact. And the media is more likely to be swayed by these fears as well. I have seen blogs , heard radio shows , and too much more that tells me the risk of these products being banned is greater than the real risk the products pose. Again, I go back to the paper by Durodie, from April of 2007.

“….manufacturers, retailers and local authorities were already
withdrawing such items from sale while admitting, in one significant case at least, that this was largely ‘a marketing decision’.

According to the European Commission’s own rules, application of
the precautionary principle should be ‘proportional’, ‘consistent’ and
‘subject to review’. Yet despite the considerable information and evidence that has emerged since the introduction of the ban, suggesting that most of the initial assumptions were flawed, the restrictions remain in place. This is, in part, because the drive to err towards the side of caution encourages officials to continuously defer to previously obtained worst-case estimates and scenarios,
irrespective of any evidence gathered since.”

Reactionary behavior, either by the right or the left politically, can have consequences we do not foresee. When Greenpeace campaigns to eliminate PVCs, and no one questions fully the rationale, are we better off? We may be afraid of chemistry because we don’t understand it. But ignorance and fear do not lead to good decisions. Our shower curtains are not going to give us cancer, or destroy our reproductive capacity.

The same gallery owner who suggests that it would be good to avoid purchasing a polymer clay necklace because of the risks that phthalates pose, carries jewelry made with resin, enamel, and other "toxic" materials in her gallery. When the customer buys any of these finished products, they are chemically stable and safe, just as a polymer clay necklace would be. But the artists are exposed to potential toxins in the creation of the work. Used intelligently, the risks are manageable with all these materials. There is no real risk to the consumer with any of them. If we want to eliminate risks, let’s do it judiciously, and with consideration of the facts.

It is not easy to stand up in favor of chemicals, especially ones that can hardly be pronounced. Yet, it is not the chemical per se I am standing up for. Rather, it is the idea that we need to look at facts, and not let our emotions overtake our judgement. It is easy to look at chemicals as bad, Greenpeace as good. But the reality is far less black and white, and far less simplistic. There was a time in our countries history when all someone had to do was accuse someone of being a part of the Communist party, and their life was destroyed. Facts were less important than innuendo.


This is about as political as I plan to be in this blog. It is actually more political than I intend. But it is important to me that this freight train of emotional reaction is slowed down. I am likely to get run over by the train, or at least drowned out. But at least I didn’t just sit by and watch it happen. Not many voices are out there trying to say "wait a minute, let's look at the facts". Instead, there is a lot of stirring up of fear and emotion.

Please, before you take a stand on an issue, any issue, inform yourself fully. If someone presents you with a potential problem, do not hesitate to ask questions. Do not take everything you hear or read at face value. Feel free to question my position on this issue as well. Nothing is ever as simple as some people want us to believe.