The Prison of Your Voice

I know, I know. I have told you how important it is to develop your own, distinctive voice. It is your trademark, and your brand. But,.....I can't help but wonder if all this emphasis on voice can be a prison or a poison to our creative muse.

Let's say you do what everyone says. You come up with something that is "yours"! No one else has anything quite like it out there. And, joy oh joy!!....people like it! They are buying it! Talk about gratification. There is truly joy in the creative process itself. It can be the best drug on earth for anything that ails you. But, when others see your work and "oooh" and "ahhhh!" over it, that is a very heady moment.

And, even artists are human. What happens when we get this wonderful rush of excitement over how much people liked what we did? We want to hold onto it, to preserve it, nurture it, baby it.....do absolutely anything to keep it going. Am I right?

The problem is, this very act is what might kill us as artists. As soon as we try to stay right in that moment of being surrounded by "oohhh's" and "aaahhh's"....better yet, accompanied by hands outstretched with credit cards or cash....as soon as we try to capture that moment, we may have hammered a nail in the coffin for our creativity.

As soon as we say to ourselves, "this is what is working, so I will do more of this," we have begun to build the prison walls. It will not be immediately apparent. Because it will take time for the light to dim, and the crowds to disappear. But, they will. Human nature, it seems, craves a certain degree of novelty. And if we do not continue to create, we risk losing our audience, and that excitement about our work.

Yes, we want, and need, to develop a line, and explore it fully. But, we don't want to kill the creative urge in the process. We must trust that if we had one good idea, there are more where that came from. Doing work to satisfy the market is not what this is about. It is more about letting the reaction of the market guide,....or misguide,...your muse.

What is the creative urge? For me it is the voice that says, "I wonder", or "Hunhh." It is that place where a question pops into my mind. Or a shape or form, or a new surface. This is the place we must nurture and protect. This is the place that needs care and feeding. If instead, we say, "Oh no, I can't do that. This is what my work looks like, what people expect from me....not that." We firmly turn our back, close that door, and put that nose on that grindstone, and grind away. And pretty soon, we will find that the ideas to explore have disappeared.

Another risk of closing off to new ideas that might pop up, is that we might become very, very protective of "our" work. When we get to that place of intense ownership, and protection of our work or our expression, we can start to see threats where there are none. People who are copying us. People who are stealing from us. Fear and paranoia are not conducive to creativity. They send us looking over our shoulder and around the corner, when where we really need to be looking is inside. Inside our heads and our hearts. Letting the voice that can't be too still for too long have it's say.

Fear of being copied can be a huge distraction. It drains our energy, and distracts our attention. It keeps us from moving forward. We always have one eye open for that dirty, rotten scoundrel who is ready to rip us off.

What if instead, we say, "Copying happens." Because it does. It is the place where many people begin. It is borne from admiration and enthusiasm, as much as any other place. When an individual copies you, it is unlikely to do much harm. They cannot copy your name, or your maker's mark....the very energy you infuse into each piece in the process of creation. They will most likely get bored and move along, or find their own muse and move along. And that is the essential ingredient for all of us, movement.

Movement is rushing, bubbling, flowing. It may have fits and starts at times, but the general idea is motion. Momentum. Seldom in a straight line. Our creative voice must move. It must stretch it's legs. Peek around the corner, veer off down that path. It is endlessly curious. Sitting still is not what this is about. Building an artistic legacy on one thought, one idea, one expression will not happen. Letting yourself grow as an artist means going with the flow more than discipline. I will explore that in a bit more depth in my next post. But for now, let me know what you think. How does your creativity bubble up? Does it move in fits and starts? Or does all this seem like a foreign language. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving to all my American readers. And, any and all, please feel free to share a thought of thanks for the day, the week, or the year.

I personally, am thankful for the gift of watching my daughters grow up and begin to emerge as two incredibly unique and wonderful people.

On a More Positive Note

I received a concerned note from one of the organizers of the Connecticut Guild retreat, after my most recent posts. It struck me over the last few days, how I had a slew of comments to each of these posts. They must have struck a chord with others out there as well. But there is a danger as soon as something is written down, that it is magnified. So little events, that in no way were under the control of the retreat organizers, take on greater significance and impact. The magnifying glass of examination, apparently also blows things up to larger than life impact.

I don't want to now say, "It was nothing." Things happened that made me pause, and made me think. And those are the things I am prone to write about. The process helps me understand life a bit better, and be better prepared the next time around. Most of what I described comes from a place better known, for lack of a better term, as "human nature". Our innate struggles as we bumble through our lives. I personally have found this type of examination and exploration helps me better navigate through them in the future.

I think the title of my last post was provocative, generating some of the response. Using the word "bully" is something of a red flag. But I am not sure how else to describe how simple requests can feel complicated on the other side. Pressured? Maybe. Neither quite describes the nuance of the sensation.

Overall the retreat was terrific, on many, many levels. First and foremost, seeing people I do not see frequently enough. That face-to-face time, whether across a table in the workroom, or wandering around the workroom, at lunch, or on Saturday night, in the lounge,....it all reinforces the sense of community that draws us to attend retreats in the first place. Inspiration. Laughter. Friendship.

I was making cranes for the Crane Project most of the weekend. It was a great opportunity for people to see first hand what I am working on. Saturday night I had a chance to talk to the whole group about the project, and how it all began. The response was fantastic. I gave a few lessons in paper crane folding. Several people volunteered to help with making the little washers that are just above and below each crane on the cables. There will be over 8000 of those little washers! That is a lot of washers! And I received $100 in donations, for the project. Donations that are sorely needed! But the encouragement was the most wonderful thing. That left me with a rich sense of what a wonderful, sharing, and supportive community this truly is. The connections, contacts and experiences that people in that room had were amazing.

I finally made a video I had been planning for about two weeks. As I told everyone at the retreat on Saturday night, I had folded a crane to represent Bobby a few days prior to the retreat. I never knew Bobby personally, but his story played an important role in shifting how I looked at my cranes, and what they could represent. Once again, the production is far from perfect, but I think it conveys his story, and why I feel compelled to take on this major project. I have titled the video Bobby's Crane. I struggled with my video editing software yesterday, so the title is not on the video itself. Things I could do the last time I made a video suddenly seemed impossible! But the message comes through. Hope you like it.

Rest, Process and Integrate

I am still trying to process all that happened in Baltimore at the Synergy Conference. There are lots of summaries and reviews everywhere on the web. Since I took so few notes, I am not going to be much help with any details, for those of you who could not make it. But, I can offer some impressions....


1. Energy. There is nothing so electric as more than 200 people in a conference room who are all passionate about the same material. People who are at the forefront of the medium, and people who are virtually brand new. The trip to Baltimore was worth it just to be present in that conference room with all those people.


2. More thoughts on Energy. Synergy was a marathon. There was so much to offer, and so little time to absorb. So many people to connect with. So little time for a real conversation. I ended up skipping three of the seven classes I signed up for. On Monday afternoon I took the afternoon off to work on my presentation for the next day, and then ended up having a lovely conversation with Mari, whom I had not seen since I took a class with Kathleen Dustin back in 2004. No sooner did I leave that conversation, with the intent to head back to the hotel and work on that presentation, and I got snagged for a quick webcast interview. It will be posted on You Tube when it is done, so I will let you know when it is up there.


I eventually did get to the hotel, and did a quick review of my presentation, before I had to head back to the conference center. I missed the preview of the gallery, but it was worth taking a little time out to rest, and to connect.


3. Voice. A big topic at the conference, was finding your voice. This is easier said than done, of course. One reason why I do not take classes anymore, and I only took one, was because I find it is too easy to pick up the "accent" or "dialect" of the instructor.

My brother hated French in high school and struggled with it. He moved to French speaking Quebec after college for several years. He came back home with a French accent. He eventually lost that, but picked up a Boston accent, which he never had growing up in the area. I share this story as an illustration. Some people are very vulnerable to picking up someone's accent without even consciously thinking about it. If I sit down and talk with Leslie Blackford for more than five minutes, I will walk away talking like her for at least the next minute or two. I find her accent enchanting, and musical. I have to stop myself from continuing the charade of speaking like Leslie.


I do not want to carry another artist in my head for too long. Others can stay true to themselves without any problem. It is not easy, and sometimes we have to walk away from temptation.


4. There is nothing like meeting people face to face. Over and over again people exclaimed at putting the face with the name that had become so familiar on-line. Surprises that few "look like their work". "I thought you would be shorter, taller," .....or that the work would be bigger or smaller. I can't think of another time when so many polymer clay artists gathered in one spot and had a chance to meet and greet. Having a face and a voice to put with the name, or the blog, or the message on a forum will enrich connections for many.


5. Getting so many people together and having a conversation about things like workmanship, voice, our history as a medium, and it's influences, and where it is going is a wonderful idea. Opinions may not have changed, but at least we were thinking about it, and looking at our medium as something that can fit into the larger context of craft. It is a wonderful hobby medium since it is so accessible, but it also has the potential to extend far beyond that, and some of the people in that room are pushing those boundaries.


6. I had a blast teaching. This was a bit of a surprise. I found people were engaging, and did a wonderful job of adding to the material I was presenting. So "thank you" to any and all who attended either of my classes. It was fun!


7. Rest, Process, and Integrate. The next days, weeks and months will be about processing, resting and integrating what I learned, saw and heard at Synergy. Things will simmer and perculate in the coming days and weeks I am sure. Resting will have to wait a few more days. I have too many commitments on the calendar for too much rest right now.


8. Self-care. I found myself often needing a bit of time alone or quiet time in the day. Perhaps when you get used to working in isolation most of the time, three long days of classes and socializing is more than can be absorbed. I never made it down to the ACC show in the convention center, which is a shame, since I was right there. The schedule was tight, and when I had a bit of time, the last thing I wanted was more visual stimulation. In the past I would have pushed through and ignored my need for this time, but by skipping a few classes, and spending a bit of time alone, or talking with a friend one-on-one, I was better able to enjoy the moments I chose to participate. We really don't have to "do it all" to get the most out of an experience.


9. The "wow" of the new. Over and over, I heard exclaimations of excitement about Kathleen Dustin's new work, Ford + Forlano's new work, and I was excited to see new work from Judy Kuskin. Even when an artist has a strong, recognizable style, such as these polymer clay luminaries, it is important to continue to explore new terrain. Many others had new work at the show as well. Loretta Lam talked about developing several new lines of work before she headed to the Rosen show in Philadelphia, and what a wonderful response it received. This is the "continuous improvement" of the artrepreneur. What have you done lately?


Time to get the butt back in the studio chair. I missed my studio, and my family. It is good to be home.

Thank you to the extremely hard working people who put together, and managed to pull off an incredible event. Kudos all around.

Thanks!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Yes, you. You come. You read. You comment. You email. You visit me at shows. You sit quietly reflecting. You perhaps disagree. You guide me in new directions. You empathize.

Thank you. Your action, big and small, have reinforced my belief in the wonderful community of artists I now reside. Thank you. If I could hug you, I would! Your presence helps to spur me on to explore this life. To share what I have learned, or what I am still learning. Sometimes I have to learn the same lesson over and over again. Each time understanding a bit more.

I am fortunate and thankful to work in two media that have a community of sharing and supportive people. This is a blessing.

I am thankful for my family. They tolerate my endless obsession with my work. The share my excitement, or support me when I struggle. Without them, it would be infinitely more difficult.

I am thankful for each and every person who purchases a piece of my work. Or tells me something about what strikes them in my work. The reflection back is always enlightening.

Thank you all. It has been a good year of growth, both hard and easy. It has been a year of growing friendships and connections. Those bonds are what enrich my life the most.

Reach out to someone in your life today, if you can. Thank them for some act that has made a difference in your life. You will make a difference in theirs by doing so.

And enjoy your Thanksgiving!!