On a More Positive Note

I received a concerned note from one of the organizers of the Connecticut Guild retreat, after my most recent posts. It struck me over the last few days, how I had a slew of comments to each of these posts. They must have struck a chord with others out there as well. But there is a danger as soon as something is written down, that it is magnified. So little events, that in no way were under the control of the retreat organizers, take on greater significance and impact. The magnifying glass of examination, apparently also blows things up to larger than life impact.

I don't want to now say, "It was nothing." Things happened that made me pause, and made me think. And those are the things I am prone to write about. The process helps me understand life a bit better, and be better prepared the next time around. Most of what I described comes from a place better known, for lack of a better term, as "human nature". Our innate struggles as we bumble through our lives. I personally have found this type of examination and exploration helps me better navigate through them in the future.

I think the title of my last post was provocative, generating some of the response. Using the word "bully" is something of a red flag. But I am not sure how else to describe how simple requests can feel complicated on the other side. Pressured? Maybe. Neither quite describes the nuance of the sensation.

Overall the retreat was terrific, on many, many levels. First and foremost, seeing people I do not see frequently enough. That face-to-face time, whether across a table in the workroom, or wandering around the workroom, at lunch, or on Saturday night, in the lounge,....it all reinforces the sense of community that draws us to attend retreats in the first place. Inspiration. Laughter. Friendship.

I was making cranes for the Crane Project most of the weekend. It was a great opportunity for people to see first hand what I am working on. Saturday night I had a chance to talk to the whole group about the project, and how it all began. The response was fantastic. I gave a few lessons in paper crane folding. Several people volunteered to help with making the little washers that are just above and below each crane on the cables. There will be over 8000 of those little washers! That is a lot of washers! And I received $100 in donations, for the project. Donations that are sorely needed! But the encouragement was the most wonderful thing. That left me with a rich sense of what a wonderful, sharing, and supportive community this truly is. The connections, contacts and experiences that people in that room had were amazing.

I finally made a video I had been planning for about two weeks. As I told everyone at the retreat on Saturday night, I had folded a crane to represent Bobby a few days prior to the retreat. I never knew Bobby personally, but his story played an important role in shifting how I looked at my cranes, and what they could represent. Once again, the production is far from perfect, but I think it conveys his story, and why I feel compelled to take on this major project. I have titled the video Bobby's Crane. I struggled with my video editing software yesterday, so the title is not on the video itself. Things I could do the last time I made a video suddenly seemed impossible! But the message comes through. Hope you like it.

Digging a Hole with a Teaspoon

You have heard the expression of a death by a thousand cuts. This idea is similar. Digging a hole with a teaspoon is slow and you don't really see the progress you are making until suddenly you look up one day and wonder, "How did I get here?"

This is a lesson in not doing as I have done. Heed the warnings.

The problem is, you may, like me, not see how bad it is until the hole is much deeper than you intended. I am talking about pricing. Specifically underpricing. The biggest part of the trap for me, was the idea that "people won't pay more than $xx for this." And I let that idea guide my decisions for too long, even while seeing warning signs along the way.

Cranes. Of course. I seem to live and breath cranes. Cranes to sell. Crane to memorialize. And in this case, the intersection of the two was part of what made me wake up. Let me begin by saying I had increased my crane price three times in the last few years. The wholesale price had doubled over that time.

But....and this is a very big but....the product I am selling today is not the same product I was making and selling then. At first the surface design was fairly simple. And they were not sold in any special packaging, But, I added the packaging and informational inserts, and increased the price significantly. Sales took off. I was a happy camper.

Then, I started playing. I started to do more involved canework on the surface of the cranes here and there. And the customers loved it. "Send more of those ones with all the detailed patterns. Everyone loved them!" I would be pleased with the feedback, but also sigh a bit as I realized it would be more work. Soon that was nearly all I was selling. Meanwhile, the price had only gone up by about a dollar, but the labor was about fourfold more. Folding cranes for the Crane Project put into sharp focus for me just how long it was taking me to make these intricately patterned cranes. I saw what I had been trying to ignore.

Initially when I would ship the cranes across country, I could ship to California or Washington state, Priority Mail, for only about $6 or $7. I offered free shipping. I figured I could easily absorb that into the price structure. Last summer though, the Post Office revamped their price structure, and suddenly it was more than double that cost to ship across country. Ouch! This spring, the prices took another big jump. I had added a shipping surcharge to crane orders west of the Mississippi, but it was not going to be enough.

Then, the breakage started. I had shipped for two years with not one crane breaking. Now, changes in clay formulation have presented challenges. I have had to revamp my packaging, adding further costs. Not to mention the credits or re-shipments I had to make each time a broken crane was reported.

Can you feel my pain?

I had no room in my price structure for all of these problems to converge. But converge they did. With six more crane orders still to ship under the old price schedule, I knew I had to take action. It was time to begin to fill in the hole, and the teaspoon was not going to work. It was time to put things back in order quickly.

My prices have nearly doubled for the intricate cranes that everyone wants. If they want to pay the old prices, they will have to purchase the "Elemental cranes". Solid colors, to represent the five "elements", air, water, earth, fire, and metal. In between those prices I have cranes with crackled leaf.

I am now shipping FedEx Ground, at a much better rate. And I seemed to have solved the problem of breakage for now.

The reaction is unclear. But, in the end, I could not continue on the path I had been traveling.

Lessons, summarized:

1. If you add to your product, acknowledge that. It is a different product. Change the price. Rename it if you need to. Not all cranes were created equally, but I was pricing them as if they were. Some of you will be saying, of course. I would never do that. I hope you are right. But sometimes we do things that don't make sense, because they will be "easier".

2. Don't undervalue your labor. I was doing what I hate. I had gotten myself into a place that all I was doing was covering the costs of my materials and overhead, so I could make more cranes. Don't do that. It does not respect you. If you find yourself saying, "people won't pay...." Stop. If half the people will pay the new price, I will have the same dollar business, for half the work. I can definitely live with that. Too many people have also told me stories of raising prices, and losing their "high maintenance" customers. Another potential benefit.

3. Sometimes we need to re-evaluate suppliers. I had gotten comfortable with shipping my work by Priority Mail. I knew the drill. It was convenient. I didn't want to have to research alternatives. But in the end, I have a good service, for a much lower cost. And, my husband has a FedEx center right near where he works. I don't even have to leave home!

4. Things will change. At some point something you depended upon, and thought you knew will change. You will have to figure out a new way of doing things. I tried to avoid dealing with these issues for too long. I wanted them to go away. I did not have time. (Can you hear the two year-old tantrum welling up?) Once I decided on a plan of action, it was actually less stressful than trying to pretend the problem was not there, or that it would go away on it's own accord. It is not easy to own up to it, but I really did not want to have to deal with this. But being in business for yourself, there will be things that you have to do that you do not want to do. Unless you have employees, there is no one to delegate responsibility for these tasks. So buck up, and deal! And remind yourself how much you are happier doing what you are doing now...in spite of these kinds of stresses. And if you are not, then maybe a bigger change is in order......

Too Busy

Have you missed me?

I have missed the time I had been spending writing here, but lately it seems like that is a luxury for which there is no room. I thought I worked a lot before. Now I have had to cut out lots of little "extras", .... like writing in this blog.

So what have I been up to?

First, cleaning out space. A few weeks back I rented a dumpster. Nothing is more satisfying than clearing out lots of clutter, and ending up with space. Our basement was filled to the gills and beyond. It is gratifying to finally have begun to re-establish order where before it was sheer chaos.

Part of the motivation to do this was I was desperate for space. The Crane Project is taking up more and more room. Both storing the cranes, and work space to string cranes up on cables. My work spaces were becoming unworkable. The change has made a large space available to me in the basement, and now I can safely have them out of danger, and more easily do the work I need to do with them.

I also decided it was time I admit that my dining room had stopped being a dining room several years ago when I started selling lots of cranes. It had become my crane packaging and inventory area, and shipping area. But I never fully admitted that. Even though hosting a meal in the room would have been impossible.

So the hutch was cleared out, the table moved to a wall, and a second table brought into the room. My computer came downstairs, along with all my paperwork. Getting an order out the door has become more efficient. It is still chaotic because I have not had the time to organize my office "stuff", but already, it is feeling much better than what existed before. And my husband has taken over the office space upstairs. He has a place to read, to play his guitars, and do yoga.

I have set a tough schedule for myself to complete cranes for the Crane Project. Sixteen cranes a day. Seven days a week. Right now, I am two days behind schedule, or thirty-two cranes. I hope to make eight more before I go to bed tonight so that the deficit shrinks just a little. But it is gratifying to watch the number climb. I just crossed 800 cranes tonight. It is also stunning to see how many that is. And to realize that is it only a year and two months of a war that is already over five years in length.

The motivation for staying on schedule is because it may put me in position to "catch up" at about the time of the inaugural in January of 2009. I like the idea of that deadline. A karma shift of sorts.

The waxed paper cranes are getting folded here and there. I bring a bag with paper squares with me where ever I go. I have folded over 500, and received nearly 100 from other folders. Last night, about 15 to 20 were folded before and during my daughter's band concert. I even taught my dentist and her assistant how to fold cranes last week. I have a new idea that I will be working on in the coming days to recruit more folders.

I still don't know where this project will be installed. It is one of the first questions I get, and all I can say still is "I don't know." All I can do is trust. I am continuing my search for a place, as well as funding options. Filling out applications, and learning.

I have also been dealing with some difficult choices in my business. I will write more about that soon. All I can say for now was once I made the choice it felt better than it did when I was avoiding the inevitable. Once I crossed the dreaded line, answers and solutions seem to fall into place. I don't know how it will work out, but I do know I feel comfortable with my decision, regardless of the outcome.

For the time being, my posts will probably continue to be sporadic. This post is more scattered than I like, but I guess that is a reflection of my state of mind right now. A bit like a pinball bouncing around. Time to bounce back into my studio, and make a few more cranes....

What Do You Know?

It always surprises me how much insight is possible in the obvious. But it is only when we step outside our normal framework that we can perhaps have the vantage point to see.

When I began this journey into becoming a working crafts person, I found there were many steps and hurdles along the way. First, it was developing the technical skill with my material. I can still remember Nancy Markoe at a class at the Arts Business Institute. She was reminding us that no matter how much we learned and understood about the business of craft, in the end we had to also spend time in the studio, honing our skill. We had to be able to have our hands understand the material. She used an example of making a handle for a mug 100 times before you might begin to be competent at that task, and develop the muscle memory of the task. Her words ring even more true for me now.

I have come to understand that we often start from where we are. Obvious, yes. The experiences we have had will color what we see as possible. For me, jewelry was an obvious thing to make. I have worn jewelry for as long as I can remember. I have collections of antique and vintage jewelry. At a craft show, I have always been drawn to the jewelry. I know jewelry. I love jewelry. And my cranes came from a connection to that origami form.

But recently, I began to venture outside the familiar. When I began work on the Crane Project, I was scared to death. I knew nothing about this new terrain, or a project of this size or scale. I knew I was going to have to find a place to install the project. How do you find that? How does it get installed? How do I get the money to pay for it? How in the world does something so big and overwhelming ever happen?

I am still learning answers to many of those questions. But in the process, I have had my world expanded a bit. What seemed beyond me, and a world inhabited by others, more daring or more creative now seems like a place I might want to visit. I have had several ideas stirring up lately that I am excited about exploring. I don't know when there will be time to get to them, but nonetheless, I have experienced a shift.

When we move beyond what we know it is stretching our muscles. It may hurt. We may be rejected. We may not fit in. But, it may be worth the aches and pains on the way to creative growth. We grow when we go somewhere new, or try something different than what we already know how to do well. Growth is seldom going to happen by sticking with what you already know.

In the last few months, I have applied for, and been rejected for, several grants. A year ago, the idea of a grant was not even on my radar. I have now learned more about that process, and will continue to refine my approach. I have learned more about budgeting for a project. I have asked all sorts of people for all sorts of help. Some say no, but others say yes. Some days I feel like a politician running for office and trying to raise funds for the campaign. It is not what you are in this for, but if you don't do it, the other opportunities may not come your way.

By taking this step across the imaginary line of what I saw as possible, into the impossible, I feel like I am Alice in Wonderland. I have entered a new place, with all sorts of doors to explore and possibilities to consider. I may decide I want to go back to the safety of what I knew before, but I may end up feeling a creative expansion that would not have been possible if I did not step across that imaginary line. The line was only there in my head. I decided what I could do, and what was not possible. The line is mutable though. We can redraw it at any time. We can venture into areas we thought were off limits.

What you know and what you have done before does not have to set the boundaries for where you go in the future. They can be a foundation. A stepping stone. A safe harbor. We get to choose.

Do you have any lines you want to redraw?

My Buddy, Doubt

I am sure you have met my buddy. He goes by the name Doubt.

Doubt is one of those buddies who is faithful and loyal. But, also one that you are not always so sure you want to see! Things may seem to be going along just great. All the gears are turning, and there is a nice hum in the background. Then Doubt crosses the doorway, and everything comes to a screeching halt.

"Am I doing the right thing?"

"What was I thinking?"

"Is anyone really going to like/buy this?"

"This is already being done, and done better."

"I'll never be as good as..., so why even bother."

Many of the above thoughts have popped into my head at one point or another. Sometimes, I have weeks where the thoughts are popping up in my head like a paparazzi's flash. Blinding me. Everything gets thrown into doubt, and I have moved from the solid shores, to being perched on the wobbly rock in the middle of a fast moving stream. I can feel the anxiety bubbling up.

But, I have learned something over time.

First, I have learned to say "Stop!" Stop letting this doubt overtake all other thoughts in your head. Stop and think for a minute.

I recently saw an article about another memorial project using origami cranes. They had over four thousand cranes completed, and they were going to be showing the project on the mall at the Washington Memorial in D.C. this Memorial Day weekend.

My first thought, honestly, was "What is the point of doing what I am doing? It has already been done. I am far from finished."

Then the Stop sign went up, and I took a breath.

This is the dialogue I began instead. "What they have done is similar, but not quite the same. It is wonderful that they are able to have their project in Washington, D.C. this weekend so that people will see and be reminded. It is wonderful that there are other like minded people out there taking actions such as your own. It should be celebrated.....and reinforced with your own work, which is similar, but still different."

Am I rationalizing? Maybe. But maybe I am just adding perspective and depth to my initial reaction that was fear driven. The fear that I am not good enough. That others are better, and that no one will be at all interested in my project by the time I finish.

No matter where we are as artists, Doubt is going to show up. Unannounced. And it is up to us to decide how long of a visit he makes. Will he sleep on the couch, or the guest room? Will he be sitting in your living room channel surfing while you wonder why you ever thought you had what it takes to do this?

Or will he be acknowledged, and then shown the door?

Will he be embraced, or just waved to politely?

We really do get to choose how we react. The stop sign is the first step. Stop the flood of negativity that comes along with the doubt, and begin to bring in some rationale thought, and then.....get back to work!

Judy's Brain Bits

This charming little phrase came out of a conversation with my husband this weekend. I was telling him that I couldn' t possibly cram one more thing onto my to-do list, or activities. I was full, beyond full, with commitments. If he tried, my head would explode, and he would have little bits of grey matter scattered, all over the place to clean up.

To which he replied, "Judy's Brain Bits". Over much laughter, we decided it would make a great name for a rock band!

So, what is on that list threatening the integrity of my cranium?

Preparing for ACRE is near the top. I have been trying to design the "invisible booth". A booth that seems to magically disappoear...fading back so all that is apparent is the work. Instead of trying to Wow! anyone with my booth design prowess, in an obvious way, at least, I am trying to Wow! them with my work. So I have been planning displays, determining what to rent, what I need to buy, and how to ship things. I have been figuring out which pictures I want to use for oversized images. I thinnk I have settled on the ones below.

I have been working on that mailing list, and deciding on a special offer to put on the postcard. That has to go out by the end of the week.

I need to come up with a "starter set". A way for someone to easily order a starter collection of jewelry to carry in their shop or gallery.

I have decided I will be putting together a video of how to fold a crane from polymer clay, that I will put on YouTube. My reason? To solicit donations for The Crane Project. More to come on the video later. The project is plugging along, slower than I would like right at the moment, with a few setbacks, but when I have a few hours, I am in the studio, cranking out cranes. I have about 200 cranes produced, but I have also applied for one grant, and have another grant application that has to be submitted in the next few weeks. The last one is with the Artist Valentine grant program I had written about earlier.

The other grant was with a group called Creative Capital Foundation. They have a great approach that focuses on developing artists in ways that will make their investment more meaningful in the long run. They also ask the artists to donate back to the organization a portion of any income generated by the project they fund. Paying back, so that others can benefit in the future. I will find out in June if I proceed to the next phase for that grant application process.

I have been playing around with a few other design ideas, one can be seen above in the green shibori necklace, in the second row, on the left. I am calling it Shibori Fringe.

Several orders have had to go out, and I am behind on one.

I had a wonderful opportunity to go up to New Hampshire for an evening meeting of the New Hampshire Polymer Clay Guild one night last week. I have gotten to know quite a few members through regional retreats, or through visits to the League of New Hampshire Craftsman's Guild fair at Mt. Sunapee, each summer. So, it is always nice to revisit and reacquaint, as well as to meet a few new faces. The reason for my visit was a roundtable discussion about the business of craft. Kathleen Dustin was also a part of the meeting, so it was wonderful to hear some of her insights into the market, pricing, and her approach to selling her work.

The things that remain on that list, untouched...

Making sure I have all the samples I need for the show.

Finalizing my price list, and getting it printed.

Figuring out how I will ship my materials to Las Vegas for the show.

Putting together an up to date press kit for the show.

Application for a display space nearby for next year....perhaps for the cranes.

I am sure there are many other things I have neglected, but they will pop up and make an appearance in that challenged grey matter if they are essential. And sometimes I forget a few things I intended to do, but the world never ends, does it? Perhaps those things were meant to fall of the list.

The Crane Project Blog

I have begun another blog to chronicle the evolution of what I have dubbed "The Crane Project." I will write about why I have taken on this project. Thoughts I have about the war and it's impact. I will also have a running count on the blog of the number of casualties from the war, and the number of cranes I have made.

I will write about my process to try and find a place to eventually exhibit the cranes. I will share with you my efforts to get grants or raise funds to help cover the costs of this project. I hope you are along for the journey....if for no other reason that it inspires you to take on that BHAG that lives inside you!

The Mystery Revealed....

I alluded to a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) in my last post. The thing about BHAG's is that they are a bit scary. Big + Hairy = Scary. And Audacious. As in, "What are you thinking?" Or, "Who do you think you are?" So is it any wonder that I was not quite ready to reveal the exact nature of my BHAG?

Well, I have begun to let a few people peak under the covers. I have made a few tentative steps to let a little air around the idea. And in the process I have learned something. As Big, Hairy, (Scary), and Audacious (Bold) as this idea may be, or any BHAG for that matter, without letting it out into the air, it will probably never happen. Trying to protect ourselves by keeping the idea close only makes it less likely that the idea will move forward. Sending those first few e-mails emboldened me. It made me realize that the only way that this idea would happen is if I let the BHAG out of the bag, and let the universe give it some momentum.

If you know anything about me, and my work, you may have suspected that it has something to do with cranes. And you would be right. When this BHAG first started to form in my head, it was the idea that I would love to see 1000 cranes made from polymer clay, all together in an installation. It immediately went into the "Nice idea, as if that would ever happen" file. But every now and then, I would bring it out and reflect on the idea. Yep. It would be cool. Back in the file.

But recently the idea has taken a bit of a turn, and given it some new propulsion. It feels like something I have to do.

My BHAG is this; I want to create a crane for each soldier who has lost their life in Iraq. Each crane will be made from translucent clay, and on each wing their will be a name, the date the soldier died, where in Iraq they died, and how (hostile/non-hostile, IED, mortar, illness, ....). I want to have all these cranes, at least 4000 of them, all together in one space. Ideally a white room. Arranged by date. As you pass through the exhibit, you pass by the lives that have been lost. Each one ennumerated in a crane.

The crane is a powerful symbol for this idea in my mind. As a symbol of peace, and a symbol of long life, it will honor each of these men and woman. Regardless of our feelings about the war, or the soldier's feelings about being there, they are lives that need to be recognized and honored. A decision was made that led to this massive loss of life, which pales in comparison to the loss of Iraqi lives. The war has faded into the background. It goes on in spite of a general sense from many that the continuation of the war makes no sense. I want a visual image of these lives. I want to recognize them, and recognize the price of this political decision.

Some will hate this idea. That is okay. This is just something that I know I need to do. It comes from my heart.

I plan to start a new blog. One that will track this project. The ups and downs and ins and outs. The count of lives. The count of cranes. I will eventually start a way to raise funds to support this project. More will come about that later.

The biggest obstacle, .....aside from making all those cranes!!....is finding a place to install a project like this. This is the universe part. I am making this public so that as this project unfolds, a place may emerge. Perhaps several.

I will still post here.

I know.

"How does she find the time?"

I don't know. I just don't worry about that. The time will take care of itself. I will fold the cranes, as I continue on with my other work and the rest of my life. Stay tuned.....






Pretty Big and Audacious, huh? I think the hairiness diminished a bit by letting it out of the bag. I am more sure I need to do this, and that eventually it will happen.