Resigning From Meddling

I handed in my resignation to my kids today. I am resigning from helping with any and all art projects they may have at school. I will provide materials and supplies. But beyond that, they are on their own, or must call on their dad.

I wonder if people who write for a living have a problem with this when their kids have a writing assignment. I can't help myself. They start describing some school project that is at all visual and creative, and I want to dive in. I try to just give a few suggestions for how approach it. But soon I find myself spilling out ideas, making suggestions for layout, or color, ..... I can't stop myself. Pretty soon I am thinking about the poster or diorama, or whatever, that I would make.

As you might imagine, this is not the best scenario for my kids. Inevitably they feel like I am taking over (no!), and are trying to figure out how to get me to just go away. So, in order to protect them, their work, and our relationship, I have resigned from helping with any and all artwork for school. I will help with math, science, writing, etc. It is easy for me to keep my distance there. But I am vulnerable to meddling in the extreme when it comes to art projects.

Sometimes our intentions to help someone, because we have the knowledge or experience, can be good. But we can lose sight of what help is wanted and needed. We can get too involved in someone else's outcome. Offering help is good. But needing to have it taken and acted upon crosses the line. Then it is no longer helping. It is meddling. Guilty as charged. I know this is not the only place that this comes up for me. But I am working on some of those as well.

How about you? Do you suffer from the need to help/meddle? How do you disengage yourself? What things are the hardest for you to resist? For me, it tends to be the very things I am most passionate about. I guess the passion can overtake our normal boundaries. All I can do is try to be conscious, and work to pull back when I sense I have begun to cross the line. It ain't easy, but neither is annoying those around you because you've gone too far.